Friday, December 16, 2011

Wine Wit: You Know You’re a Wine Geek When...

I had to share this after reading it on Dave McIntyre's WineLine.

From Diner's Journal - Illustration by James Yang

You Know You’re a Wine Geek When:
  • You swirl your water glass at dinner parties.
  • You would solve the European debt crisis by abolishing the euro and imposing a new common currency called the “Galloni.”
  • You put out your recycling late at night after all your neighbors have gone to bed, then sneak around looking at what they’ve been drinking.
  • Someone tells you they are taking a cab to the party and you ask, “Napa?” (Hat tip to Allen Clark!)
  • You have hundreds of bottles in your cellar, but keep complaining, “There’s nothing to drink!”
  • You try not to invite “Parker people” to the same dinner party as “Jancis people.”
  • You correct your hostess when she offers you “Champagne” but pours you Cava.
  • You tell a talkative New Zealander to “Stick a Stelvin in it!” and laugh as if you’re the funniest guy on Earth.
  • You say things like, “Wine gives me a Riesling to live!”
  • You can’t type words like win, windows, winter or winnow without hitting the backspace key.
  • You sleep with your dog, Turley, and get offended when someone asks, “You named your dog Turdley?”
  • Your favorite beverage is “#wine”.
  • During a business conference, you text a colleague to “meet me in the Laube.”
  • You nicknamed your son Brett, not because he can throw a football, but because he smells funky.
  • You do not have to consult Wikipedia to know that Alder Yarrow had nothing to do with the Salem witch trials.

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