You Know You’re a Wine Geek When:
- You swirl your water glass at dinner parties.
- You would solve the European debt crisis by abolishing the euro and imposing a new common currency called the “Galloni.”
- You put out your recycling late at night after all your neighbors have gone to bed, then sneak around looking at what they’ve been drinking.
- Someone tells you they are taking a cab to the party and you ask, “Napa?” (Hat tip to Allen Clark!)
- You have hundreds of bottles in your cellar, but keep complaining, “There’s nothing to drink!”
- You try not to invite “Parker people” to the same dinner party as “Jancis people.”
- You correct your hostess when she offers you “Champagne” but pours you Cava.
- You tell a talkative New Zealander to “Stick a Stelvin in it!” and laugh as if you’re the funniest guy on Earth.
- You say things like, “Wine gives me a Riesling to live!”
- You can’t type words like win, windows, winter or winnow without hitting the backspace key.
- You sleep with your dog, Turley, and get offended when someone asks, “You named your dog Turdley?”
- Your favorite beverage is “#wine”.
- During a business conference, you text a colleague to “meet me in the Laube.”
- You nicknamed your son Brett, not because he can throw a football, but because he smells funky.
- You do not have to consult Wikipedia to know that Alder Yarrow had nothing to do with the Salem witch trials.